I need to say a few words about the late Andy Sidaris (note the spelling–no relation to David Sedaris). Sidaris forged a successful career in television, including 25 years with ABC’s Wide World of Sports, before striking out on his own in his mid-50s to write, produce and direct a series of B-grade action movies which today are known collectively as the Triple-Bs (“Bullets, Bombs, and Babes”). All of his films followed a basic formula; Hard Ticket to Hawaii was the second of the series and probably the best of the lot.
Your typical Sidaris flick has a couple female heroines (usually former Playboy playmates), some over-the-top baddies with mullets, and a bunch of cool-if-unnecessary gadgets. Sidaris loves him some gadgets. This flick features a large, remote-controlled helicopter that is somehow integral to the plot. Why? Probably because Sidaris either owned it or knew someone who did. Lots of stuff in this movie (like the cross-dressing assassin) has the feel of “hey, I know a guy who can do x“). Oh, and it’s all set in Hawaii, probably because Hawaii’s a nice place to be when you’re indulging yourself.
The plot, such as it is, involves a smuggling ring operating in the Hawaiian islands and the efforts by agents of an unnamed government agency to thwart them. You don’t watch a for the plot but rather for the absurdities contained within. The fight scene below, whose entire conception is absurd yet delightful. The subplot involving a toxic snake, of which I dare not reveal more. The ludicrous subplot involving Sidaris playing a version of himself producing a football show. The random martial arts stuff, since it’s an ’80s movie and they do that. The sublimely banal, badly-written dialogue. The cheerfully gratuitous nudity.
I first saw this at the 2010 B-Fest. It was in the 3 AM slot; right after The Room (which, happily, I’ve fallen asleep in front of no less than three times). 3 AM usually has real crap in it. The year before was Zardoz. Looking back I don’t even remember most of what was shown then, which means I feel asleep before that movie came on. This one was different. Everyone was awake and laughing madly at the spectacle before them. This might be the best B-movie I’ve ever seen. It’s in close competition with The Monkey Hustle and Plan 9 From Outer Space. It’s just fun.
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