Amtrak, B-Movies, Web Development, and other nonsense

Month: April 2014

The Monkey Hustle

I first saw Monkey Hustle at the 2004 B-Fest and I enjoyed more than any other blaxploitation film I’ve seen since, there or elsewhere. It holds a 4.8 on IMDb as of writing and was panned on its release. I’m here to tell you that it’s a good film and the critics be damned.

Poster_of_the_movie_The_Monkey_HustleIn a nutshell, Monkey Hustle is about various characters in a Chicago neighborhood, their interactions, and the looming threat of a new expressway (tapping in to the freeway revolts of the 1960s and 1970s). Monkey Hustle‘s detractors argue that the plot, such as it is, doesn’t hang together and that most of the scenes don’t relate to each other and make little sense. This is all nonsense. What we’ve got here is a film loaded with subtext, with characters who don’t know they’re in a movie and don’t feel a need to explain themselves.

Look at Daddy Fox (Yaphet Kotto) and Goldie (Rudy Ray Moore). No one tells the audience that, though rivals, they go way back and that Fox has some kind of claim over Goldie. We get that from their interactions. In the climax of the film Fox and Goldie use their connections to divert the neighborhood-threatening expressway. A lesser film would have told us some pointless story about how Goldie saved the alderman’s life (alluded to) or how the alderman owed Fox some favor. In the Monkey Hustle, it’s sufficient that they exercised their influence. Look at the melancholy expression on Goldie’s face at the block party–it cost him something to make this happen.

Much of the film is taken up with the small change of neighborhood life. Characters move in and out; threads are begun and abandoned. One critic leveled the charge that no one in the Monkey Hustle grows as a character. I’m not sure that’s true (the relationship between Win and Vi is one example), but let’s address that head-on. It’s less than a week in the life of a Chicago neighborhood. How realistic would it be for any of the characters, let alone a preponderance, to grow in that span, and to also reflect on it for our benefit? The older characters (Fox, Goldie, the Black Knight, Mr. Molet) are set in their ways–they aren’t going to change. Fox even says as much to Goldie, who upbraids him for refusing to get out of the small-time hustle (“Foxy, you’re my main man! You’re my main man!”)

The film was shot entirely in Chicago’s South Side in the mid-1970s and looks it. Several scenes take place in the now-demolished LaSalle Street Station. Along with The Sting (1973), it has to be one of the last films ever shot there, and possibly the only one in a contemporary setting. This also introduces a small goof when the band returns at the start of the film from a long tour by way of LaSalle Street, which by then handled only commuter traffic and the two remaining long-distance trains of the Rock Island. I hope the band enjoyed the Quad Cities and Peoria because that’s as far as they got.

There are problems, no doubt. Whatever the subtleties of the relationship between Fox, Goldie and the alderman Chicago’s politics did not and do not work that way, a point that Chicagoan Roger Ebert made in his own review (he panned it as well, while noting it did good business). I don’t see this as a major problem. Monkey Hustle is a slice-of-life feature; while a major event in the neighborhood is the expressway it is not the only event and does not upstage everything. We see a proto-community organizer several times; perhaps he had some successes of his own. A lesser film would give him a scene with someone as the film is wrapping up in which he discusses his victory, ignoring that in real life we don’t always get to champion our successes as they happen.

It’s an enjoyable flick and much better than its reputation. Go watch it on Netflix and see what you think.

Hard Ticket to Hawaii

Hard Ticket to HawaiiI need to say a few words about the late Andy Sidaris (note the spelling–no relation to David Sedaris). Sidaris forged a successful career in television, including 25 years with ABC’s Wide World of Sports, before striking out on his own in his mid-50s to write, produce and direct a series of B-grade action movies which today are known collectively as the Triple-Bs (“Bullets, Bombs, and Babes”). All of his films followed a basic formula; Hard Ticket to Hawaii was the second of the series and probably the best of the lot.

Your typical Sidaris flick has a couple female heroines (usually former Playboy playmates), some over-the-top baddies with mullets, and a bunch of cool-if-unnecessary gadgets. Sidaris loves him some gadgets. This flick features a large, remote-controlled helicopter that is somehow integral to the plot. Why? Probably because Sidaris either owned it or knew someone who did. Lots of stuff in this movie (like the cross-dressing assassin) has the feel of “hey, I know a guy who can do x“). Oh, and it’s all set in Hawaii, probably because Hawaii’s a nice place to be when you’re indulging yourself.

The plot, such as it is, involves a smuggling ring operating in the Hawaiian islands and the efforts by agents of an unnamed government agency to thwart them. You don’t watch a for the plot but rather for the absurdities contained within. The fight scene below, whose entire conception is absurd yet delightful. The subplot involving a toxic snake, of which I dare not reveal more. The ludicrous subplot involving Sidaris playing a version of himself producing a football show. The random martial arts stuff, since it’s an ’80s movie and they do that. The sublimely banal, badly-written dialogue. The cheerfully gratuitous nudity.

I first saw this at the 2010 B-Fest. It was in the 3 AM slot; right after The Room (which, happily, I’ve fallen asleep in front of no less than three times). 3 AM usually has real crap in it. The year before was Zardoz. Looking back I don’t even remember most of what was shown then, which means I feel asleep before that movie came on. This one was different. Everyone was awake and laughing madly at the spectacle before them. This might be the best B-movie I’ve ever seen. It’s in close competition with The Monkey Hustle and Plan 9 From Outer Space. It’s just fun.

Dark Side of the Moon

Dark Side of the MoonI’ve referred to Dark Side of the Moon in several previous reviews, so it’s probably time it got its own. Let’s state the important things upfront: it’s a lesser rip-off of Alien, it’s 85 minutes but feels longer, and I’d pay real money to see the crowd reaction to it at B-Fest.

In a nutshell, in turns out that Satan has set up shop on the far side of the Moon, and is terrorizing ships which wander into an ill-defined corridor between the Earth and the Moon which corresponds to the Bermuda Triangle. There’s an involved, badly written, inappropriately scored scene involving the film’s hero and numerology which explains all this, to the mounting horror of cast and audience alike.

That out of the way, the film has a reasonable B-movie pedigree. Robert Sampson (Robot Jox, Re-Animator) plays the ship’s pilot. John Diehl (Stargate) is…some crewmember. Never doped out what he does. The great Joe Turkel (Blade Runner, The Shining) plays the computer operator/engineer.  The model work is better than expected. Possessed members of the crew have evil green eyes, which is overused but effective at times (especially Turkel). Even the ship’s “Mother” (Alien) rip-off, an android named Lesli, is an interesting take on the concept if underdeveloped.

Still, it’s not very good. If you’re going to sell this crap you need better writing and better performances. Even good actors can only do so much with bad material, and these are (mostly) not good actors. The big reveal, which you see coming from a mile away, is ludicrous. The movie plods unforgivably. The laws of physics, important to space travel, take a real beating.

It’s worth seeing only if you believe my theory that it’s a missing link between Aliens on the one hand, and Ghost Ship and Event Horizon on the other.

Alien Predator

Following on from the screening of Creaturetonight’s selection provoked an argument five minutes in about who the hell selected it, and why. Liz having confessed to the deed, we moved on to speculating whether the entrails on-screen were real or especially good creature effects. Taking note of the quality of the entrails and the filming location (Spain) we decided they were real.

This is the first film by Deran Sarafian, who’s now chiefly known for his work on House, M.D. He’s come a long way. I learn from the credits that it was adapted from an original screenplay titled “Massacre at R.V. Park.” Aside from the lead characters (three American college students), everyone appears to be Spanish. Twenty minutes in as we watch a chicken meet its fate execution-style we suspect it was shot in Spain solely to get around American regulations. That or a tax dodge.

Anyway, what we’ve got here is a Spanish rip-off of The Andromeda Strain, but with an actual monster. On first glance this is a winning formula: enliven a portentous American film with additional action sequences and (one assumes) cheap exploitation. That’s what the Italians would have done. Instead the whole thing is weighed down by a badly-acted, badly-written subplot (main plot?) involving the three American students, including Lynn-Holly Johnson (as seen as James Bond’s spurned teenage love interest in For Your Eyes Only, another cringe-worthy performance). The other two are interchangeable brotards.

It has the same crazy-people village shtick as Gymkata, but it’s much less effective here. Since both films were shot in 84-85 it’s unclear to me whether one stole from the other or it’s just a case of parallel development. That, or there’s a village full of crazy people in Europe. There’s also no cheap exploitation. It’s not that I feel cheated. It’s just that if a film fails first as a science fiction film and then as a horror film as a viewer I start looking for a backend. There just isn’t one. All the characters are boring, loathsome, or one-shots, and none of their actions make any sense. Also most of them are dubbed incompetently. They talk in whispers when no one’s around and slowly during matters of urgency.

There’s a venerable tradition at B-Fest of shouting “WORDS!” at the screen during long, meaningless stretches of dialogue. We did a lot that watching this. It drags terribly. There’s a weird cross-narrative involving cars. Inexplicably cars repeatedly try to ram our main characters. We never see the drivers. These scenes aren’t really remarked on in-film and feel disconnected. Many scenes are shot in the characters’ RV. We get long, loving shots of it being driven from place to place.

It’s a pity that so much of the film is so awful–the creature effects are well done and used to good effect. The filmmakers are careful about revealing the creature. There’s one scene in particular where a sort of ground fog obscures it, but you see ripples in the fog. I liked that. I didn’t like much else. I don’t know why we finished it; possibly from a shared sense we might see it at B-Fest someday and it’s best to know what you’re in for.