Splitting the G with Cousin T

Happy Easter, everyone! Last weekend, Sam, Ben, and I went to Ireland for a four-day weekend. This has been a long time coming. Sam has family in Ireland, and I have a high school friend studying at UCD who was nice enough to let me crash at her apartment (Thanks Isla!)

The flight over to Dublin went smoothly, I flew out of Frankfurt Hahn (Not to be confused with the actual Frankfurt Airport; Frankfurt Hahn is 2.5 hours away, in another state, and in the middle of nowhere) To get there I took a train to Koblenz and then the 615 bus to Frankfurt Hahn which comes every 2 hours. It’s nice living in a developed country with things like public transit and healthcare. I arrived with plenty of time. Only one (1) person was arrested while going through security, and it wasn’t me. Before I knew it, it was 1 am and I was in Ireland.

Ireland is fantastic. The accents are vibrant, they share a hatred for England that would make even the toughest member of the American Revolution blush, and there is a rich culture I could not wait to drink in. The only ‘plan’ I had made was to go on a city tour/pub crawl with what seemed like Sam and Ben’s entire extended family. In Ireland, there was Sam, myself, Sam’s sister Rebecca, Sam’s mom Mary, Sam’s mom’s Irish cousin Helen, Sam’s mom’s cousin’s husband Cousin Terry, Ben, Ben’s Mom Diane, and Ben’s mom’s friend Jen. So that’s four kids vs five parents.

The day of the bar crawl was nice. I woke up at ~ 10:00, ate breakfast in Isla’s apartment, and did some of my god awful Dynamics homework. (Please, I am writing this instead of studying for my Dynamics final pls send help) And took a nice leisurely tram into the city. I met Sam’s side of Ireland at Bewley’s, the first cafe in Ireland to import tea directly from China, and also a favorite of Cousin Terry’s. Cousin Terry is a retired policeman who worked in Dublin for 12 years during the 80s and 90s. He is also super Irish, so there was no end to the stories for the day.

We walked around Dublin. I had my first ever fish and chips at Leo Burdock, a local favorite of Terry’s, and supposedly the oldest Fish and Chips in Dublin. This place had hosted legends like Snoop Dogg and a whole list of others I forget after reading Snoop Dogg. If  you’re curious, you can google it or fly to Ireland, whatever floats your boat. After that, we visited church after church and learned about Ireland’s tumultuous history. With many personal stories and a ‘Read the plack Mary!’ thrown in from Cousin Terry.

Ireland was in many ways England’s first colony. Officially conquered in 1601 until 1922 was officially under British rule; people were forced to speak English, and the Irish language was very nearly eradicated. Ireland suffered from the Great Famine (it’s never a good sign when an event is simply known as the ‘Great ___’). Induced by centuries of brutal British rule and a potato blight, the famine killed 1 million Irish, and a further 2 million fled. The population of Ireland has never recovered.

Many a revolution started, and all ended in defeat, including the Easter Rising of 1916. However, in 1922, a successful revolution eventually secured sovereignty for all of Ireland, except the six counties, which are now called Northern Ireland. The decision to sign a treaty with England caused a schism in the Irish army, where pro- and anti-treaty Irish fought among themselves, shooting at the very same soldiers they once fought side by side with, holed up in the very same buildings I would pass by a hundred years later.

Ireland’s Hunger, England’s Fault?

Easter Rising, Dublin

After a suitable amount of time, Terry found us a bar and I could finally enjoy what I travelled for, a nice pint of Guinness. Guinness is made with Nitrogen, not CO2; it’s served at a different pressure than beer, and if you get the first pint of the day, you’re doing it wrong. A modern trend with Guinness is to ‘split the G’ ie, drink until you get down to the G on the glass. Supposedly, at some bars, if you do it in front of the bartender, they’ll give you the next one for free. I was close, but ultimately unsuccessful. Cousin Terry mocked it relentlessly, then did it perfectly. Ben also succeeded, but that’s neither here nor there. Cousin Terry taught us how to drink properly, primarily that alcohol is a poison, always drink in moderation, and never put that fruity shit in whiskey.

While Guinness is interesting, I prefer the local Kolsch brewed in this region of Germany, but it could be really good with some vanilla ice cream. Just don’t tell Cousin Terry I said that. The next day, my friend Isla and I went to a small town by the coast, walked around the seaboard and got ice cream.

Overall, a great time. Afterwards, Cousin Terry told me to lay off the Guinness, and he told Ben to lay off the Whiskey. Probably for the best with finals coming up.

Been fun, Ian