@Nick: I think you did a great job choosing your lead actress, she seemed to fit the character you were intending to create very well. Even without seeing the cartoon characters, there were distinct serious moments and humor which was great — the animation will only make it better. As far as the line about the bad guy, you don’t necessarily need it because so much can be said through the facial expressions and silence of the male. Even though he drives the conflict, he is sort of a passive character and that’s perfectly fine.

@Hubert: In terms of the love interest in jail, I didn’t think it was forced at all. It makes sense that somebody stuck in a depressing/limited/probably boring situation finds interest in a young female lawyer because she is beautiful, powerful, and accomplished. There’s a feel of anticipation/uncertainty in the air in terms of the relationship which is perfect for a drama series. It’s also an entertaining scenario for Nii, like how much attention can he get from her?

Attached is my completed rough draft of my screenplay “Buying Fate.” It will be changing quite a bit from now until the final product, so I would appreciate any feedback you guys have on this draft.

Also, if anybody has any more movies, TV shows, magazine articles, or books I should look at to help develop the 2091 world that would be sick. Thank you for the great feedback in class!!

Buying Fate Finished Draft

Hello fellow Capstoners! (and Professor Sikand)

Attached is roughly Act 1 and about 10 pages of Act 2 of my feature length screenplay “Buying Fate”. Feel free to read more than the few pages I discuss in class. I greatly appreciate all feedback!

Needed characters for in-class table read (scenes 1-6): scene directions, Kyle, Vincent, Brendon, Random People in crowd, Amanda, Mr. Stevens, Mrs. Stevens

Major questions:

1) How does the dialogue read? Does each character have a distinct voice? Does it seem like a 22-year-old girl wrote this?

2) Is the information provided through dialogue to help establish the world subtle or does it feel forced? Does it feel like too much information is provided at once?

4) Does it feel like there are too many characters?

5) Or is it not complex enough? Should it be more futuristic and scientific?

5) Any other comments? Suggestions? Criticisms? Feedback? All is welcome and needed very much.

Thank you!

Buying Fate Capstone for Presentation

Ways I can be helpful

1. I can help others working on fiction scripts (Hubert, Cassidy, Nick, Chris, Andrew, John, Matt, Scott, and Li) with story flow and dialogue.
2. I can help people doing documentaries such as Matt (Greek life) or Jess (empathy) by being an interview subject or operating equipment.
3. Because Matt and I are the only two people doing feature length screenplays, I can help him with plot structure, character development, and give him ideas on what works and what doesn’t.
4. I can help Chris by being an audience member for his comedic web series so he has somebody to bounce jokes off of.
5. I can be an open ear for anybody having a difficult time and help them work through issues by providing a new perspective.

For my capstone, the game plan is to complete a feature length screenplay. The basic premise behind my current idea which I’ve had swirling in my mind for a couple years now centers around a futuristic society that allows for the customization of children — anything from intellect to looks to eventual fate — and it all depends on how much money you have to spend on the child. The more money, the more attractive and intelligent the child will be and the better “fate” they will have. The story explores the life of Madison, a child who lives with parents that she doesn’t realize are adoptive. Her biological father is the son of the man who created the Buying Fate company. On his 21st birthday, Madison’s father had bypassed all security codes and drunkenly created Madison for an incredible amount of money. Unable to remember what he programmed her fate to be and unable to find it on any records, he gave her up for adoption. The film begins as Madison turns 16 and must discover what her fate is and what family she really belongs to.

For now, do you guys have any comments on this idea? Any shows or movies that I should watch?