I just took a look at your fine cut- I really enjoyed it! Here a few comments I had after watching:
1. During some of your interviews you jump to the next thing that the person talks about and the cut can be sort of distracting. This happens during Erin’s interview and then again with Tom at 3:17. What you can do for Tom is move that family video B-Roll a little earlier to cover the cut.
2. 3:45: I think you should cut out your question for Tom. It’s hard because he doesn’t say “As a kid…” so I get why you kept it. I like when he said “A little shit” but I do think you can still understand Tom as a kid without that. If you think this part is crucial to understanding Tom’s personality than definitely keep it- just a little suggestion!
3. At 5:40 there is static there for transition- I think it works every where else in the film, but here its a little distracting as well.
4. The introduction of Alex’s death is definitely a hard topic, and the pivotal part of the film I think. I can see how hard it is for Tom to talk about it- so I think a good way to explain his brother’s death is to have your voice over explaining this instead of seeing his death in words. You have your voiceover in the beginning and the end, so I actually think introducing your voice in the middle of the film will help continue it along nicely. It’s such an emotional part of the film, and I believe the photo of his name and death date desensitized it.
5. From minutes 7-8 you have great B-Roll!! I wanted to see more of it- don’t be afraid to cover more of Tom’s interview and hold on to the B-Roll a little bit longer. I would love to see more of Tom in his everyday life in addition to Tom within his track world.
Overall, the home video works really nicely and I was moved by Tom’s story. Can’t wait to see the final cut!
This is such a great story about an obviously unique and positive person. I loved the home footage and how you incorporated it into the broader story. Your film made me both sad and happy and had a good emotional pace to it. My favorite part has to be the sand castle being washed down and Tom rebuilding it. It’s so symbolic and tells your story with a single picture. Awesome job. Definitely submit to festivals.
I just took a look at your fine cut- I really enjoyed it! Here a few comments I had after watching:
1. During some of your interviews you jump to the next thing that the person talks about and the cut can be sort of distracting. This happens during Erin’s interview and then again with Tom at 3:17. What you can do for Tom is move that family video B-Roll a little earlier to cover the cut.
2. 3:45: I think you should cut out your question for Tom. It’s hard because he doesn’t say “As a kid…” so I get why you kept it. I like when he said “A little shit” but I do think you can still understand Tom as a kid without that. If you think this part is crucial to understanding Tom’s personality than definitely keep it- just a little suggestion!
3. At 5:40 there is static there for transition- I think it works every where else in the film, but here its a little distracting as well.
4. The introduction of Alex’s death is definitely a hard topic, and the pivotal part of the film I think. I can see how hard it is for Tom to talk about it- so I think a good way to explain his brother’s death is to have your voice over explaining this instead of seeing his death in words. You have your voiceover in the beginning and the end, so I actually think introducing your voice in the middle of the film will help continue it along nicely. It’s such an emotional part of the film, and I believe the photo of his name and death date desensitized it.
5. From minutes 7-8 you have great B-Roll!! I wanted to see more of it- don’t be afraid to cover more of Tom’s interview and hold on to the B-Roll a little bit longer. I would love to see more of Tom in his everyday life in addition to Tom within his track world.
Overall, the home video works really nicely and I was moved by Tom’s story. Can’t wait to see the final cut!
Cory,
This is such a great story about an obviously unique and positive person. I loved the home footage and how you incorporated it into the broader story. Your film made me both sad and happy and had a good emotional pace to it. My favorite part has to be the sand castle being washed down and Tom rebuilding it. It’s so symbolic and tells your story with a single picture. Awesome job. Definitely submit to festivals.
-Scott