2 thoughts on “Jonah Episodes 1-4 Feedback would be lovely.”
I read Episode 2 and loved the banter between Jack and Jonah. You really get a feel for Jonah’s frustration with Jack in this episode. I know you mentioned the montage in class today about the technicality of writing a montage in a script. I thought all of the actions were great, but something that was lacking was emotion. Jonah’s character is a downer, who doesn’t show much excitement for anything in the episode. When reading all of the actions, I wasn’t sure if Jonah was actually enjoying himself until he says so after the montage. To make it easier to picture for the reader, I would add in emotions for Jonah and Jack that you can really picture. (smiling, high living, laughing, etc.)
Just a minor detail- the rest of the script was great!
Your dialogue is so funny. I loved the introduction of Jonah’s father part during the presentation. Your writing has a really good flow to it and the voices seem natural. I hope I get to see these produced. Let me know if you’ll need my help. Great job, man!
I read Episode 2 and loved the banter between Jack and Jonah. You really get a feel for Jonah’s frustration with Jack in this episode. I know you mentioned the montage in class today about the technicality of writing a montage in a script. I thought all of the actions were great, but something that was lacking was emotion. Jonah’s character is a downer, who doesn’t show much excitement for anything in the episode. When reading all of the actions, I wasn’t sure if Jonah was actually enjoying himself until he says so after the montage. To make it easier to picture for the reader, I would add in emotions for Jonah and Jack that you can really picture. (smiling, high living, laughing, etc.)
Just a minor detail- the rest of the script was great!
Andrew,
Your dialogue is so funny. I loved the introduction of Jonah’s father part during the presentation. Your writing has a really good flow to it and the voices seem natural. I hope I get to see these produced. Let me know if you’ll need my help. Great job, man!
-Scott