I am making a 20 minute documentary on empathy called [Home]. It will start out with my voice over and family photos and home videos on the screen. I will talk about how I am an empath, as well as my mom and grandmother’s empathy. I will then dive into the subject of the homeless that populate the streets of NYC. B-roll of the homeless will be accompanied by an interview with my coworker, Alexa Burger about her experience with the homeless.

Ever since I can remember empathy has been a part of my life. My grandma, who I call Neenee, has been the most influential force of empathy in my life. I grew up behind the lens of her constant worry. Ultimately her strong sense of empathy became too much for her. She now barely leaves her home. She sits in the dark most days with my grandpa by her side. Together in their two arm chairs they hide from the world. She didn’t always use to be this way though.

While raising my mother and my aunt Jill she volunteered on a suicide hotline. She would talk people down. She gained a reputation as one of the best hotline workers on Long Island. By the time I came along we had an instant connection.

I’ve heard this story time and time again. I was standing up in my crib when Neenee walked up the stairs to my room. She greeted me and told me a story about Jill’s friend Aviva who is currently in med school. That day Aviva fainted from the site of blood. She ended the story with the lines “hush, hush don’t tell Aviva!” I burst out laughing and fell over in my crib kicking my legs. Neenee turned to my dad in shock, “How did she know that was funny?” My dad had no idea.

My connection with Neenee is the single strongest connection I have with anyone. We can be sitting in a large group and have a whole conversation just with glances. She is the most important person in my life.

My sophomore year of college Neenee had a heart attack and a stroke on her birthday. For some reason I knew this would be a big birthday for her so I wrote her a giant card divulging just how much she means to me. That night she went to the hospital. My grandpa made her a copy of the card to clutch to her heart. By the time I found out about the heart attack it was the day my family thought would be Neenee’s last. Her heart stopped beating four times that day. My dad called me in deep despair saying “If I want to say good bye to her I better get on the next bus to New York.”

I did. By the time I got there Neenee had experienced the hardest day of her life. She was clutching a heart pillow and a crumpled version of my card in her hands. Walking into the room my family looked as if they were wilting but Neenee looked strong as ever. She had a big smile on her face. Somehow I knew she would be okay.

Just when we thought things were on the mend she had a stroke. She lost her ability to speak and walk. That didn’t stop her. She walks all around her apartment and she never stops spewing advice at me. This woman had a heart attack and a stroke and still lived.

Because of all she went through I do understand her current recluse lifestyle. It’s difficult to see her this way. She dresses in all black when she use to be a walking rainbow. She’s very quite in-group conversations just absorbing her families words with the occasional glance my way. When I need her she is so clear. No word is stuttered. She never lost her brain, she just lost the ability to convey what is in it.

I care about empathy, because it has shaped the person I have become. Empathetic people are necessary to keep everyone sane. They are critical to humanity.

In order to prep for this documentary I read several articles about empathy and its significance. I spent three days watching Ted Talks on empathy and how vital it is to the individual story as well as group dynamics. Most social circles (if they are lucky) have at least one friend who is empathetic. The audience is adults 18+. Anyone who has experienced enough of life to see the importance of empathy would benefit from seeing my film.