Please give is your feedback on our second rough draft.
2 thoughts on “Not Like You Rough Draft 2”
Overall, the story arc is very coherent, and easy to follow. One suggestion would be to double check audio levels, at some times (I think Andrea’s first clip), her audio was hard to understand. Also the explanation of DACA was very good, but hard to read. Perhaps put each sentence up, and then after it has been shown for a few seconds, fade it out before showing the next one. It was a bit too cluttered to really take each statement’s effect in. The filming was INCREDIBLE and I loved the seamless weaving of the B-roll. Have you thought about name-plating/introducing the characters? I think the ending could be stronger with a more powerful visual instead of just the interviewee speaking? Also some of the B-roll transitions seemed random (driving in cars; going to the ocean), but I know they were necessary for breathing room, so I’m not sure if you have any more specific B-Roll you could use. SERIOUSLY GREAT JOB THOUGH!
I know this wasn’t your final cut but I just want to say how moved I was watching your film. It was truly amazing and I have already shared the film with some of my friends. More people need to understand. Thank you for doing this film and well done!
Overall, the story arc is very coherent, and easy to follow. One suggestion would be to double check audio levels, at some times (I think Andrea’s first clip), her audio was hard to understand. Also the explanation of DACA was very good, but hard to read. Perhaps put each sentence up, and then after it has been shown for a few seconds, fade it out before showing the next one. It was a bit too cluttered to really take each statement’s effect in. The filming was INCREDIBLE and I loved the seamless weaving of the B-roll. Have you thought about name-plating/introducing the characters? I think the ending could be stronger with a more powerful visual instead of just the interviewee speaking? Also some of the B-roll transitions seemed random (driving in cars; going to the ocean), but I know they were necessary for breathing room, so I’m not sure if you have any more specific B-Roll you could use. SERIOUSLY GREAT JOB THOUGH!
I know this wasn’t your final cut but I just want to say how moved I was watching your film. It was truly amazing and I have already shared the film with some of my friends. More people need to understand. Thank you for doing this film and well done!