From the outset of developing a final project, I chose to create a piece I felt emotionally connected to as I believe that is where my most poignant work evolves. As I mentioned in my proposal, I felt especially connected to Marina Abramovic’s Art Must Be Beautiful, Artists Must Be Beautiful. I think I was most attracted to the work because of her vulnerability and the tone of obsession that was conveyed by her compulsive hair brushing. Struggling with my own obsession and the compulsions that accompany it, I used the theme of obsession as my launchpad into a project.

Knowing I am uncomfortable in front of the camera, I expected to create a film that referenced but did not physically include me, perhaps by creating a story of someone else’s struggle which I documented, for example. However, I chose to put myself in an uncomfortable position and potentially capture a similar vulnerability to what I felt in Abramovic’s piece. My obsession manifests into the compulsion of eating the same thing for breakfast each morning. While the aesthetic approach I chose is simple, I think it articulates my point best.

Each morning as I sat down to eat my egg whites, cantaloupe, honeydew, and half grapefruit, I was joined by a camera. I filmed the entirety of a week’s worth of breakfasts, documenting a task seemingly mundane yet extremely charged with obsessive tendencies. The filming strategy itself references different approaches we have discussed throughout the course instead of complying to one approach completely. There is no reference to video appropriation, however both video performance and citizen journalism influenced the work. While I am unanimated and do not interact directly with the camera, my movements and habits are a performance recorded by the camera. Instead of choosing to record certain moments of my meals, I let the camera record each in its entirety, similar to citizen journalism tactics.

I faced various challenges while creating the piece, both personally and in the production itself. I put myself in a position to face something about myself that I am not comfortable with, unsure of what the product would be. While editing my footage I had to make some challenging decisions. Initially I cut pieces from each meal and edited them consecutively to portray one meal. I felt this conveyed my point, but I was not entirely satisfied with it. My inspiration was renewed after we discussed splitting the screen to show several days simultaneously. This is the approach I ultimately took. iMovie restrained me from displaying more than two videos at a time, however I could see the project expanding. If I collected daily footage over a longer period of time and edited it in such a way that many days could be displayed at once, I think the viewer would be overwhelmed and the sense of obsession would be stronger.

(Video file too large to send/upload–view from laptop)

For this assignment I chose to film in and around Wawa at night. I thought this would be an interesting location because it was off campus, yet somewhere Lafayette students frequent. It serves as a place where students interact with Easton residents as well. Since Cattell Street is usually pretty busy and the parking lot sees many different people come in and out of Wawa, I thought something interesting might happen. When I heard noises coming from buildings or cars nearby, I would focus the camera to explore what was happening. I also focused on people I saw walking in the area. Towards the end of the video, I chose to go inside Wawa and see if I could capture anyone purchasing things or interactions among the workers. However, I quickly learned from an employee that videos were not to be taken in the store, so I did not get to spend much time in the store itself. Overall, the video I took did not capture any particularly interesting events or interactions. However I do think as far as location choice goes, Wawa is a hub of various activity that could possibly lead to something, like a traffic incident in the parking lot or an interaction between a Lafayette student and Easton resident.

For this piece, I used audio I had collected last year for my studio arts senior thesis which explored the effects 9/11 had on the children who lived in lower Manhattan and witnessed the devastation through young, impressionable eyes. I interviewed kids I had grown up with, and three who I had been at preschool with that morning. I asked them all to share with me the memories they had from that morning, and to explain what, if any aspects of their lives they see some influence from 9/11.

I also discovered declassified CIA files about 9/11 on a database found through the Lafayette Library’s research tools. The documents I chose to use are dated from late 1998 to early 2001, all acknowledging and warning of an imminent threat to Americans.

I created a dialogue between what the kids shared with me and the recordings of the CIA documents. I hope the piece provokes listeners to consider how 9/11 affected those who are often thought to have been too young to remember, through hearing their own accounts of losing innocence contrasted with the government’s unemotional, rigid approach.

While developing possible ideas and themes for my performative photographs, I kept coming back to being interesting in exploring how social media affects our everyday lives, primarily in social situations. I had begun by shooting people in some of their daily routines, like studying, sitting in class, and getting ready for bed. I would take a photo of them doing these things while using their phones or laptops, something that occurs constantly but is near really thought about. These devices have become another one of our limbs. I then attempted to capture the discomfort once I removed the device from the situation. However, I was not happy with the results as this discomfort was difficult to portray well and I thought the series lacked a performative element.

I moved on with this same concept of devices influencing our lives and began to think how I might show this in a more performative light. I thought of the many times I have reacted so strongly, positively or negatively, to something I saw on my phone or laptop, whether it be a conversation I had over text message or a post I saw on social media. The reactions I have to these things take place over a period of time. This introduced a crucial element of performative photography into my idea.

In my series, I tried to capture the range of emotions that anyone would experience when seeing something they do not want to on social media. So many aspects of our private lives are available for others to see. People tweet about what they are doing at that moment, post pictures of who they are with, and share a multitude of things on sites like Facebook. Having access to these parts of other people’s lives addicts us to social media. Although we know we may not like what we see, we cannot help but explore what other people are doing. What we see can significantly alter our feelings.

When I began shooting with this new idea, I was well aware I did not like to be in front of the camera. However, I could visualize the emotions I wanted to portray, and thought it would be best executed if I had optimal control over it. Since I was not actually seeing something on my phone that I did not want to be, I had to pretend. I soon saw I was not the best actor. I attempted to capture the range of emotions I believe occur when seeing something that would have been better left unseen.

I felt very uncomfortable uploading these to social media. I found it interesting that I was selective about which form of media I ultimately decided to post on. I did not see Snapchat as a practical way. I rarely use my Twitter anymore. I do not often post on Facebook. SO that pretty much left Instagram and Tumblr as platforms to share my images. When considering Instagram, I realized how extremely selective I am about what I post on Instagram. Like the discussions we’ve had in class, people, including myself, truly only do post things they want the world to perceive them as. I think not being thrilled with the final product also contributed to this. I also do not post pictures of myself on Instagram, unless they are with other people, so I felt uncomfortable about this as well. Tumblr was a comfortable alternative since I am relatively anonymous. Although, after posting this sequence, that has changed slightly.

Several years after World War II ended, these photos were taken in various places significant to the lives of those involved.

An aerial view of remote Germany where high ranking officials would meet at their headquarters.

When it became a requirement for Jewish citizens to wear the Star of David, they would need to register at windows like these located throughout cities.

This building housed a Jewish family’s business which was abandoned during World War II.

 This building is a place families would go for help to be relocated in an effort to avoid the Nazis.

View of a weapons factory located in the German countryside.

Part of the equipment needed to produce weapons at a German factory.

Inside a German factory.

This is where Holocaust victims were brought upon their arrival to the concentration camp.

This is a room people were corralled before being forced enter the gas chamber.

A gas chamber at a concentration camp.