This is the re-worked version of my original performance piece, “No Rest”. I knew going into this second shoot that I would need to focus in on more action; even if only one. I thought a lot about what I could do for the action. Maybe something with pain would work. At first I thought I could pour wax on my self or some sort of physical paining. And then it dawned on me, I would rip up a book. I figured this was good for a couple of reasons. I could progressively get angrier with the ripping. This notion of having a tipping point is certainly something I was trying to execute. The act of reading a book is somewhat frustrating for me. I really don’t like to read, and I get irritated with my lack of desire to read and lesser ability.

I also changed up some things with the lighting and framing. I used a spot light in the shot where I am sleeping to create obvious shadows. I juxtaposed this with the shot of me bare where there are practically no shadows. I did this on purpose because I wanted to create a real sort of contrast. The shadows behind the very well-lit, sleeping me represent the darker side of my personality. It also represents my humanity and physicality, where the more dissolved and bare me has no shadows and seems far more ghostly and unnatural. This is exactly how the frustration feels and I tried to capture that by employing particular film tactics.

Overall the experience was very liberating and enjoyable. The first time I shot and created my rough cut, I felt weird and uncomfortable in front of the camera. What I was doing didn’t seem to make sense and I was worried I would look like a fool. After I presented the first take to the class and received some positive feedback I realized the project does have potential value. During the second shoot I payed much closer attention to detail and I was far more comfortable in front of the camera. In fact, after ripping the book I felt so good I had head rush. It was crazy.